Saturday, September 18, 2010

Blog Post: Ally's Breakup Blog

Hello from the Break-Up Blog! This blog was actually an idea given to me by the lovely creator of LDC designs herself after I went through a less-than desirable break-up. This was a way to release my pent-up emotions in a manner than was safe for everyone around me. Usually my posts are quite lengthy and cover anything from asshole exes and can branch off to just about any other topic that I feel is too inappropriate to actually deal with in real-life situations. This will be just a sampler post to give you a little taste of my blog!

Ever notice that there are a million-and-one manuals out there for girls on how to deal with guys and if you were to look up books for the latter you would find far and few between? That’s probably because of all species on the planet; the male species is the biggest pain in the ass. I’ve decided to reach out to my fellow females out there with a little dating blog that is, if not relatable, mildly entertaining.
My thought for the day: You’ve got a dick, that doesn’t mean you need to be one.
My biggest pet peeve is a boyfriend who PMSes more than you do: mood-swings, bitchy attitude... the whole nine yards. Girls aren’t interested in dating guys who they can swap bitch-fit stories with. Girls PMSes it is typically for a reason less significant to that of shedding a uterine lining while our bodies prepare us to be able to have children. Anything less than a reason like ‘a cycle that leads to the gift of life’ naturally is deemed unimportant and not a valid reason to be a douche. Common reasons for mini-periods are usually things like not being able to play oodles of video games or because their favourite sport team lost. Needless to say, men do not meet the standard criteria for authorization to PMS therefore should suck it up. suffer from PMS because, hence the name, it is a pre-MENSTRUAL syndrome therefore we are, in fact, menstruating thus entitling us to be as awful as we want. During this time we are going through a wonderful cycle that results cervical cramping along with such side effects as: headaches, cravings for fatty calories, from those calories comes the break-outs and bloating, followed by irritability for feeling fat and ugly after eating the calories we craved. When a man
I’ll leave you with a quote from my favourite, Charlie Brown:  Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up." Check out the Break-Up blog to read more of mildly entertaining misfortunes. 


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